Saturday, November 12, 2016

Are We Supposed to Act Like Everything is Normal?

Are we supposed to feel and/or act like everything is normal now?

I walked for hours today. It didn't take away the terror. This abject terror that I can't describe and that I've never felt before Trump was elected President. Instead of getting better, it is getting worse every day. As time relentlessly marches toward his swearing in, as he starts to form his thug-fascist cabinet, as his people start talking about violating the constitution and shipping political dissidents back to Turkey and up-ending environmental regulations/protection, my terror deepens and grows.

I feel that our democracy is in grave, profound peril. I feel that our environment doesn't have four years for us to fiddle while Rome burns. I feel that I and other people are in danger, as we fall into one or more of many categories of people that Trump has stated over and over again he is going to take the country "back" from. I feel that our economy is going to head right back over the cliff (but that is actually the least of my worries--I'm more worried about our democracy itself, the environment, and what will happen to many citizens, possibly including myself, if the US becomes a fascist state).

I walked today and everything looked the same. Nature--still beautiful. The trees look so peaceful. They don't know. I know. You look at people's faces, into their eyes, and you can tell. You can tell who knows and who doesn't. The ones who know look like me: shell shocked, grim on a beautiful day, steeled.

Are we supposed to act like everything is normal? Luckily, my tea-partyish boss was on business in another city last week, so I didn't have to keep up the front all the time. Next week, I'll have to. I'll have to act like everything's fine, my precious, hard-fought-for country didn't just go from democracy into the hands of a would-be fascist. And maybe I can do it, if I have to, to pay the mortgage. Maybe I can act like everything's normal. But this feeling won't go away. My country's been taken, democracy has a gun to its head, everything and everyone I love is in profound peril, and I'm supposed to act normal?

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